A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Nevasta versus amanta

Un tip cu amanta in pat....la un moment dat suna cineva la usa . Amanta calma ii spune sa fie linistit ca e sotul, dar rezolva ea! Se duce la usa deschide si spune: "AAA Iubi ce bine ca ai venit ..du si tu gunoiul" si ii pune galeata de gunoi in mana...sotul pleaca. Amantul se imbraca, pleaca linistit si cand coboara gandeste ... "Si frumoasa si desteapta..."
Ajungand acasa suna la usa , deschide sotia si ii spune "AAA Iubi ce bine ca ai venit! Du si tu gunoiul asta !!! " Ia galeata, coboara scarile si in sinea lui zice: "Si urata si cu tupeu!"

Din dragoste...

Dragul meu soţior,
Inainte sa te intorci din deplasare, vreau sa-ti povestesc despre micul accident pe care l-am avut cu camioneta pick-up la intrarea in garaj,
Din fericire, nu e nimic grav, eu sunt bine asa ca te rog sa nu iti faci griji pentru mine.
Ma intorceam azi din magazin si la intrarea in garaj, din greseala, in loc de frana, am apasat pe acceleratie.
Poarta garajului e putin stricata, iar masina mea s-a oprit cand s-a ciocnit putin de masina ta.
Mie imi pare foarte rau de cele intamplate, dar stiindu-te bun la inima, sunt sigura ca ma vei ierta.
Stii cat de tare te iubesc si cat de mult imi lipsesti, iubitule!
Iti trimit fotografia garajului.
De-abia astept sa te strang in brate!

Soţioara ta iubita!



P.S. : TE-A SUNAT AMANTA!!!